


you are the reason that i see in blinding lights

by sophh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29859954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophh/pseuds/sophh
Summary: Sometimes things aren't as bad as we fear, but sometimes we have to be honest about those fears, too.Or, when Remus' imagination gets the better of him, he communicates his worries to Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18
Collections: Wickedly Wolfstar: Love at First Text





	you are the reason that i see in blinding lights

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Wickedly_Wolfstar_Love_at_First_Text](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Wickedly_Wolfstar_Love_at_First_Text) collection. 



> Written for the Wickedly Wolfstar discord's Love at First Text fest!
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> You're the reason I check my phone every five minutes just to see if I have a new message even   
> when I don't. (Prompt by NeonDomino)

Remus peered down at the glowing screen of his mobile, anxious to see if there were any new messages. His heart sank when he saw that nothing had come in since he had last checked approximately five minutes ago. 

Sirius was probably fine...right?

"I'm just going to kip down to the pub for a quick drink," he had said. 

But that had been half an hour ago. What was taking him so long? Remus' breathing grew shallow as he pondered all of the possible explanations: Sirius could have imbibed too much. He could have gotten into a brawl. Or—Remus could hardly bring himself to think the words—he could be cheating. 

"Don't be absurd," Remus told himself, slipping his phone back into the pocket of his trousers. "Sirius loves you. He wouldn't do that to you. He  _ wouldn't." _

He gleaned no reassurance from repeating those words over and over, however. They soon felt as stale as the leftovers that Remus had heated up for dinner. 

Another five minutes lapsed, and Remus found himself pulling out his mobile once more. This time, he fired off a quick text. 

_ Starting to get worried. Let me know you're okay as soon as you're able.  _

_ Remus x _

He worried his lip for a moment. Did that sound too overbearing? He hoped not. It just wasn't like Sirius to disappear for long stretches of time without saying anything. Their relationship was built on open communication, because both of them knew how quickly secrets could destroy one. 

A text came finally came through, and Remus' heart rate spiked when he saw that it was from his boyfriend. 

_ No need to worry! See you soon. _

_ Sirius x _

Remus frowned. Was that all Sirius had to say? The relief that he had initially felt turned to irritation. There was no apology, no clarification. As soon as Sirius walked in the door, he was going to get some answers. 

* * *

"Remus, I'm home!" Sirius stepped into the flat with a package tucked under his arm. He was smiling, but that expression quickly changed when he came face-to-face with Remus, whose arms were folded tightly against his chest. 

"It's about time," Remus said. His voice came out as a flat monotone, masking the hurt and anger that still roiled inside of him. 

Sirius took a step closer, and Remus tried to assess if anything was different about him. His clothes weren't particularly rumpled, and his eyes weren't glassy with drink. Oddly enough, he didn't  _ smell _ much like alcohol either. He didn't even smell like the cigarette smoke that normally pervaded the pub down the street. 

Remus was beginning to wonder if Sirius had even gone to the pub at all.

"Where  _ were _ you?" he asked. "I kept checking my phone, thinking maybe I'd get an update from you, but you didn't text me until after  _ I  _ texted you first." 

"I know." Sirius had an uncharacteristically guilty look on his face, and it made Remus feel nauseous. Was he about to be made privy to something that would turn his world upside-down? 

"I...lied," Sirius continued, running his free hand through his hair. "I wasn't at the pub. I was picking something up for you and it took longer than expected." 

With that, he held out the neatly-wrapped parcel that had been under his arm. Remus took it, his thoughts swirling. Sirius had lied to him.  _ Sirius had lied to him,  _ and he wasn't just going to forget that. 

Abruptly, he turned and walked into the living room, where he placed the package on an end table before dropping onto the shabby sofa. His heart was racing again, but this time it was because he needed to be honest. And for that, he also needed to be vulnerable. Though he knew that Sirius would listen and respond respectfully, it was still difficult for him to open up. 

"Sirius, we need to talk." 

Sirius hovered above the sofa for a moment. He looked as though he was going to grab the package off the table, but at the last second he seemed to think better of it and sat down beside Remus instead. 

"Okay. What did you want to talk about?" His grey eyes seemed to pierce Remus in a most disconcerting way. 

Remus closed his eyes briefly, trying to sort through his emotions and present them in the least confrontational manner possible. He finally settled on the anxiety that had plagued him during Sirius' absence—he couldn't let that go unaddressed. 

"Look, I'm not averse to a lie here and there to maintain surprises," he began, speaking slowly and deliberately. "I just...need you to understand that I was worried  _ sick _ about you. I thought that something bad had happened—that you had passed out somewhere, or had gotten into a fight." 

He didn't add the niggling suspicions that he'd had about Sirius' fidelity, or lack thereof—he had made his point without that. Instead, he held his boyfriend's gaze and waited for him to speak. 

"I'm sorry, Remus," Sirius said at last. He broke eye contact with Remus to bow his head slightly. "You're right, I should have kept in touch. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry about me."

Remus was glad that he had successfully communicated the severity of the situation to Sirius, but he didn't want his boyfriend to look like a scolded puppy. He reached out and lifted Sirius' chin with his hand. 

"You're forgiven." He leaned forward and brushed their lips together before pulling away to ask, "Just...promise me you'll make an effort to not do it again?"

Sirius' smile was radiant as he moved in for another kiss. "I promise." 

With some difficulty, Remus turned towards the end table where he had set down the package. When Sirius whined, he let out a chuckle. 

"Don't you want me to open your present?" 

"Yes...no...I don't know," Sirius murmured, tugging at the front of Remus' cardigan so that he was forced to look into those grey eyes again. "I  _ did, _ but now I just want to cuddle up with you and make sure that you know how much I regret worrying you." 

Remus could hardly argue with that. The gift—whatever it was—could wait. For now, he was going to enjoy his boyfriend's company. 


End file.
